Lesson learned:
Element of free will. It is a great challenge for all of us. Our life is a work of art. We form what we want to be. We choose.
Indeed, there has been much of the debate about free will and much of the debate centers around whether we human beings actually have it, yet virtually no one doubts that we will do this and that. Cream or Sugar. Stop or Go.
The main perceived threats to our freedom of will are various alleged determinisms: physical/causal, psychological, spiritual. There are also a few who say the truth of any variety of determinism is irrelevant because free will is simply impossible.
For the ancient greeks everything is fixed before you die. Fate had been cast.
Most philosophers would agree on one thing and that is that the concept of free will is very closely related to the concept of moral responsibility. In which case acting on free will is just to satisfy the morality of being responsible for one’s actions.
So all this bull about free agency,and the freedom of choice. That we are not bound. bull.
striving for perfection. choices. consequences. freedom. responsibility.
but of course we are bound. if anyone tried to tell me otherwise, that i am free to do whatever i felt like, because it doesn’t matter? i would just say that they were delusional and to go to hell because that kind of talk belongs there. because hell is a place where nothing matters. we live in a world where everything matters. to the words we say, to the people we meet, the things we put in our bodies, the places we go. it matters. . we are mortal and it matters. and this is what kinda started my insanity.. Well, that and the fact that I got so ill I preferred to die. or kill something with my bare hands.
anxiety. anxiety. panic. death. darkness. it blinds you. and without suggesting i check myself into a mental institution, to get a shrink, or get on suicide watch..some of you know what im talking about .
this all hit full force when i was on what i thought was my death bed in korea this summer. i had been searching for an answer. something to cling on to. at first i thought it was some sort of home sickness. i had never had home sickness so i figured this is what it feels like. but i wasn’t sick for my home in utah. or in wyoming. i realized i didn’t belong anywhere and i needed a safe place and didn’t have one..this was the beginning of my first panic attack. needless to say. i made it through. im alive. and the more i looked into an explanation to my physical and mental pains, the more it didn’t make sense. the medical doctors did not help at all. i was just doped up for the month of july, it was awful and it made me sicker. i had given up all my power.
the only thing that has made any sense to me since i have been back is that i am going through a severe vibrational shift or an energetic transition that is lasting an unusually long time..
I have taken pieces from articles by Connie Stewart and Celia Fenn as well as my own journal entries to form my own definition of whats going on in my head (dangerous).
The purpose of the Indigo to Crystal to Rainbow transition is ascension.
Ascension is also about bringing the higher and lower aspects of our being into complete harmony and alignment with our higher self or higher purpose in life. Everything in life that isn’t in alignment with our higher purpose will just fall away with this process. There can be a difficult period of adjustment during the process of ascension and some of the adjustments can be hard to view as positive circumstances. This may mean ending relationships, moving, changing jobs, and further changes that may seem unsettling. However, it is necessary for these old patterns to fall away to make room for the new higher energy.
The ultimate goal in spiritual ascension is to align with a higher source and keep vibrational frequencies at a higher level to help you live out your life’s purpose and find the special gifts and talents that you have to offer.
Right?!? its great..
But I am not happy right now. Not Happy. As a matter to fact, i just called jacquie this morning and told her i want to kill something. why would ending the mortal life of another being make me feel better? i don’t know. so i’ll go shopping instead. or eat. or go back to bed. after my run so i can eat more. damn.
But I feel right. Right about right now.
it doesn’t make any sense to me either.
But I am No Longer Bound.
So I am Free.
Haeree Kim's Blog 